You've finally mustered the courage to leave a toxic relationship that made you insecure, guarded and a little bit bitter. After crying yourself into dehydration, questioning your worth and wondering if any one out there is actually half decent; you're going to show your ex exactly what they're missing out on.  and plot the ULTIMATE comeback...

Your Revenge Body

You're not quite sure how it'll look but it involves a 30lb lighter, more lady like, less imperfect you, with a "what lace" frontal, and 4.4L skin. You want to achieve this in about a week.

You'll lie to yourself and profess that you're doing it to "get your life back." But sis, here's the real tea... (Trigger warning)

The real reason you want a revenge body is because:

You don't feel like the current you is worthy enough.

What we won't admit is the relationship we just escaped left us broken, unattractive and doubting our self worth. We acknowledge that our previous partner made us feel sad and hurt. We don't truly understand what exactly is hurting or why we actually feel sad. Aside from broken trust, our egos are shattered and our self image is distorted. 

Already insecure about our self image when a relationship ends we start bargaining with our self worth. We start to question why he treated us in that way and equate it to our looks. 

"Maybe If I were slimmer he'd find me more attractive"

"Maybe it's because I wasn't pretty enough."

"Maybe I didn't do enough."

We wonder.. "If I glow up he'll notice me and realise what he's missing"

Now that we've cleared that up, all of these thoughts are normal after a break up. My only issue is that we're looking for solace in the validation of a toxic person. Doesn't sound very healthy. On top of that, our peers will encourage this by congratulating our revenge body without considering our mental state whilst trying to achieve it. Yikes.

The revenge body you seek may solve the very shallow extent to your issues but it won't solve your distorted self image, and it won't make you feel good enough. ESPECIALLY, if he doesn't notice. Then it feels even worse. Focus on falling in love with yourself again. Focus on loving the you that is you now. Stop assuming there is something wrong with you. Stop assuming weight loss will make life perfect. (Personal experience, it won't.)

So many of us use weight loss as the tool to cure all our emotional issues. Promoting a fear of our fatter self. All these experiences will have an impact on our life in the future. What happens when we gain weight after having children? What happens when you get to 45? What happens if you develop a hormonal disorder? Will you hate yourself? Will you assume life didn't work out because of your size?

Your worth is not determined by how attractive someone finds you. 

Your "revenge body" is the body you have once you realise you're a BAD ASS FEMALE. 

Not when you lose 30lbs.

Disclaimer: You're probably thinking "hey aren't you on a weight loss journey?" Yes, I am. But I believe using men's opinions are a starting point for your weight loss journey is toxic and feeds into the patriarchal ideology that mens opinions rule women's lives. Lose weight because you want to for yourself. Not because you want your ex to notice you. He's trash.